During the mid- and late 1970s, the country—this country, all around me—really was about ready to switch maths and convert to the metric system. Overnight, all the road signs along the highway had miles and kilometers listed at the same time. It was harrowing for everyone in the country, except for everyone who was here from all the other countries. They were fine.

My Indiana classmates must have spent almost three weeks in 5th grade trying to figure out whether or not our metric system textbooks started on page 1 or 7. After a month my entire school gave up trying and that was the last time I was scared that the metric system was coming. I don’t see kilometers on road signs anymore. (They might be there, but it’s tough to see through the razor wire.)

But the metric system was coming. It WAS coming. And, if I’m not mistaken, it continues coming still.

The audio nugget for this video Dead Wood is a real, genuine radio commercial that was broadcast on the CBS radio network on July 10, 1976. You can tell it’s real because it has that undeniable warm sonic yumminess that modern times tried to extinguish.

I composed the accompanying video wardrobe and I’ll stand beside my choices. It’s one minute long. Surely you can spare the time in order to prepare yourself for the coming.

Anthony Head wrote the bestselling Texas Dives: Enduring Neighborhood Bars of the Lone Star State. He’s in Texas.

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Dead Wood: Here Comes the Metric System (July…